What were you like as a child?
This question fascinates me because it tells me about your childhood, your memories, your priorities, but also much more than that. It gives me a little window into the way you view things. Chances are, if you speak negatively about yourself as a child now, you're probably often speaking negatively to yourself as an adult.
- Circumstances trigger thoughts.
- Thoughts create feelings.
- Feelings lead to actions (or inaction or reaction).
- And action (or inaction or reaction) lead to a result.
"Great, Tara, but I thought you were a health coach...not a therapist." (insert eye-roll here). ;-)
Yup...exactly! I'm a health coach. I deal with nutrition and fitness and lifestyle changes. But really, truly what I deal with is people. The WHOLE person. Because becoming healthier, losing weight, gaining confidence, lower your blood sugar...these are require a change in thought to be able to end up with a changed result. It's not a quick or easy fix, but it IS a permanent fix!
I want you to absorb this. This is big and it may require you to open your mind and allow yourself to see things differently. Circumstances are just facts. They are the things that happen with NO judgements placed on them. It is our thoughts that follow that label things "good", "bad", "mean", or a "problem". Those thoughts then trigger a feeling - sad, frustrated, happy, angry. The feeling makes us take action, NOT take action, or REact. And THAT action, brings us directly to our results.
What's empowering about this is that so much of what we think is out of our control is in fact, very much in our control.
I'm overweight. I overeat. I can't stop overeating. It just happens. Why does this have to happen to me? Why do I have to have this body? I don't want to be deprived or hungry. I don't overeat, my metabolism is broken.
Does ANY of that sound familiar? It's a snippet of the stream of thought I hear from so many women! When we take on the role of the victim and place the control outside of ourselves, it's easier to check out and not face our emotions. The only problem food can solve is hunger. Almost every person I know (including myself) has tried to solve problems other than hunger with food at least once or twice or way more than that.
The good news is that it IS in our control to stop the cycle. It will mean that we have to feel the things we were trying to avoid feeling by overeating, though. It won't be easy or totally comfortable. It WILL get easier as you get curious about yourself and allow yourself to feel the full spectrum of feelings.
Who says we're always supposed to feel happiness, anyway? We're humans and we have a mixed bag of emotions.
If you are overweight - whether you are currently gaining weight or simply maintaining a weight that is more than you believe to be healthy - it means you're overeating. Overeating simply means eating more than your body needs to maintain your desired level of health. Quite often we need FAR less food to maintain our optimal health than we think, so we assume something is wrong with us. We assume our metabolism is broken. It's not.
If you eat when you're hungry and stop when you no longer feel that hunger, you'll have eaten enough. If you still want food after you are no longer feeling hungry, then you are using food as a comfort for something else. We have ALL done it. No shame. No guilt. Just love and curiosity for yourself and what you might actually need besides the extra food.
Overeating doesn't mean you overeat at every meal, or everyday, or even every week. It can look like this: You eat like a bird all day or all week and then finish a whole bag of chips and a handful of cookies because your willpower ran out. Or, you end up ordering lots of food at a restaurant, but only on your "cheat" day (I really dislike that term, by the way!). It comes in many forms. But, if you are gaining unwanted weight or maintaining a weight that is more than you'd like for your health, then overeating according to what YOUR body needs is happening at some point.
This is good. This is great, actually! Why? Well, this means YOU are in control. You CAN and will be able to improve your health and lose weight once you allow yourself to cure the root cause rather than treat the symptoms (such as going on a "diet").
This might have struck a cord with you. And I owe it to you to share it with you anyway because I'm here to help, not to hide information from you that might ruffle your feathers a bit. I hope you can understand that. :-)
In good health,
P.S. If you're feeling really lost or confused, please, please, PLEASE send me an email at Tara@TaraAllenHealth.com so we can chat. You have the ultimate control over your health and life.