It's 2 days before Christmas ... if you celebrate. Still a packed time of year if you don't. How are you holding up? (I'm not asking rhetorical questions when I ask questions here. Please always feel free to hit "reply" and actually tell me!).
I have a working theory that a lot of women feel “broken” when, really, their nervous system is just tired of being on high alert 24/7.
Enter the vagus nerve. The main character in this story.
Think of it as the long, chatty nerve that runs from your brainstem down through your chest and into your gut. (Don't just think of it like that, that's exactly what it is. Haha!) It is constantly narrating your life. It decides if your body gets the memo that you’re safe, or if it should treat every text, email and raised eyebrow like a bear attack.
When vagal tone is strong, you get:
feeling steady in your own skin
easier digestion
fewer random heart flutters
a calmer baseline
deeper sleep
better recovery
When it is not strong, you get what most women in midlife describe to me:
tight chest
jumpy heart
gut that overreacts to everything
a brain that refuses to shut up at night
a body that never fully relaxes
Here’s the part I love. Vagal tone is trainable. This is not “You are who you are.” This is learnable physiology.
The science-y version involves things like anti-inflammatory pathways, afferent fibers, heart rate variability. You do not need all that. You just need to know that strengthening this nerve changes how your whole body behaves.
Hormones. Metabolism. Mood. Recovery. Stress. Sleep. All better when the vagus nerve is strong.
Some of my favorite real life ways to support it:
Move your exhale. Make your exhale a little longer than your inhale. Five counts in, seven or eight out. Your heart rate will follow your breath like a toddler follows an older sibling.
Morning light. Step outside. Let your eyes see actual daylight (without sunglasses on). It gives your brain the “You’re alive, everything is fine” signal it desperately wants.
Walk like you’re a human, not a scrolling device. Swing your arms. Look far away once in a while. Especially after meals. Good for blood sugar, good for your vagus nerve, good for your mental health.
I have been using a device called Pulsetto. It's designed to stimulate the vagus nerve through gentle vibration on the neck. I put it on, breathe and let it help my system remember how to settle. It synchs to your phone and one "stress session", for example, lasts 4 minutes. I absolutely love it and notice a difference! Only annoying part is if you forget to wipe off the conductive gel (it comes with) after, your neck will get flakey. Haha. If you want to try it, you can use this link they gave me so you do not pay full price.
Cold on purpose. Short cold exposures are like tiny stress rehearsals. Your system learns how to rise and fall instead of staying stuck on “rise.”
Sing or hum. This one surprises people. The vibration in your throat stimulates the vagus nerve. No Grammy-worthy skill required.
Grounding. Bare feet on actual earth helps discharge built-up electrical charge and often calms the nervous system in a way people can feel immediately. And yes… I know it is winter for most of us. Same here. You can still sneak in grounding by stepping outside barefoot for 15 or 60 seconds, using a grounding mat under your desk or sleeping on grounding sheets so you get the benefits while you sleep. Here's the grounding mat and sheets I use -- use code GWTARA for 10% off.
Heavy-ish strength training. Your nervous system learns that you can work hard and then return to calm. It builds confidence internally, not just physically.
Sauna or other heat. Heat exposure trains your stress response from a different angle. You learn intensity… then you learn recovery.
Red light therapy. This one doesn’t stimulate the vagus nerve directly, but it supports the whole environment the vagus nerve operates in. Red light improves mitochondrial function, lowers inflammation and helps your body shift into repair mode. And repair mode is exactly when the vagus nerve does its best work. I use Lumebox because it’s strong enough to be useful and portable enough to be realistic. (It's steeply discounted with my affiliate link -- sharing here).
Natural scents. Peppermint, lavender, orange peel. Even cracking open a fresh herb like rosemary. Your vagus nerve responds to olfactory stimulation because it’s tied to ancient threat vs. safety signaling. Certain scents literally soften stress response.
Chewing gum. You’re mechanically activating the same cranial nerve pathways involved in digestion. The body reads it as “Safe enough to eat,” which is a subtle downshift.
Gargling. It stimulates the muscles controlled by vagus-nerve-adjacent pathways. Try it for 20 seconds. It is weirdly therapeutic.
Laughing. Real laughing, not polite chuckles, is vagus nerve gold.
Rocking. Yes… like rocking in a chair or swaying side to side. Your nervous system is much simpler (and more primal) than you think.
A hobby that requires repetitive motion -- crocheting. Whittling. Watercolor. Kneading dough. Even brushing your kid’s hair. Repetitive motion quiets the sympathetic system.
Zero “productivity” music. Classical piano. Ocean sounds. Lo-fi beats. This works not because it’s relaxing… but because it nudges your system into a more organized rhythm.
This matters for metabolism and fat loss too!
If your nervous system thinks life is an emergency, your metabolism behaves like it’s in survival mode. It will not prioritize fat loss, muscle building, hormone balance or anything that's a long-term goal. It will prioritize “don’t die.”
Strengthen the vagus nerve and all those things become easier. You don’t have to push as hard because your body finally stops pushing back.
This is one of the reasons I include nervous system work in my coaching. It’s not extra. It’s not a trend. It’s foundational physiology. And when women learn this, they stop blaming themselves and start seeing real progress.
You’re never stuck... you just may not have been taught how your whole system works yet.
Wishing you a beautiful week of celebration, peace, reflection, or whatever the heck you truly want and need.
Happy holidays. Merry Christmas. I'm so grateful that you are here.
Stay wild + well,
Tara
P.S. TRANSFORM is opening again soon. I’m being completely honest… I don’t know exactly if or when the next round after this one will be because I’m giving myself permission to shake things up in 2026. It feels big and exciting. If you want my brain on your health this year, make sure you’re on the waitlist so you don’t miss this round.
P.P.S. What do we think of “stay wild + well”? I signed off a pretty monumental business email with that last week and I’m still deciding if it’s 'cringe' or exactly the kind of 'who cares, we get one life' energy I want more of in 2026. You’re welcome to tell me your vote… but ya know what? I just decided ... I’m keeping it in rotation!