Last week was a tough one for me, health-wise. I uncovered some new layers ... things that had been dismissed by doctors for years, things I’d gaslit myself about, things I finally started piecing together in a way that actually made sense. It’s always a strange mix of relief and grief when that happens. I speak to women every day who are in that space ... who have a complicated relationship with their body, their health, food, trust in providers, trust in themselves. Women who have goals that won’t quit while watching themselves age in the mirror and feel it in their bones. It’s a quiet reckoning. A daily negotiation. And the emotional experience of it all? The undercurrent of shame, anger, fear, fatigue, and hope? It’s rarely talked about. So in an effort to do that (for myself but maybe for you too) I wrote this. A letter. A contract. A moment of clarity from the me who’s rebuilding to the version of me I’m becoming. I figured you might want to come along for the ride.
I'm fully aware that I've been pouring my heart out to you about every other blog post lately. HAHA! Will this last in between the recipe collections, tips, workouts, longevity and fat loss things? I don't know! I often don't know what I will write about until I sit down to write to you. Thanks for reading!
Dear Future Me,
This is a contract. A quiet promise. A love letter from the version of me who’s doing the unsexy, unseen, consistent work. The version who shows up ... even when she’s tired, even when the progress feels invisible. I want you to keep feeling good. Not drop to “barely functioning” good. Not “pushing through” good. I mean deeply well. Energized. Present. Clear. Capable. Light, in body AND spirit. So here’s what I’m vowing to do, for both of us: I promise to keep strength training regularly to keep us strong, supported, and resilient in every sense of the word. I promise to keep eating in a way that fuels us, not depletes us ... protein, fiber, real meals, barely any alcohol. I promise to keep moving daily ... walks, stretching, bike, shake, vibration plate, dance, sweat / sauna, shiver. I’ll keep the energy flowing. I promise to notice what matters: how we’re sleeping, how we’re thinking, how our skin and joints feel, how we respond to stress. I’ll keep paying attention to the data -- labs, symptoms, energy, mood -- without judgment (ok, with as little judgment as possible b/c we're still a little Type A). With curiosity. And without talking to ourselves like a jerk. I’ll ask: “What do you need today?” and then actually listen. I promise to do what works even when it’s boring, because repetition is healing and rhythm is medicine. I promise to do better at protecting my peace. I will stop saying yes when I mean no. I promise to let things be easier if that makes sense. I don’t need to earn rest. I don’t need to prove I’m strong by pretending I’m fine. And while I don’t always know why I seem to have to work 100 times harder for the same level of health most people have ... a regular period? WORK. To not be filled with water retention? WORK. To have optimal labs? SO MUCH WORK. And not just exercise or nutrition or sleep, but deeper, more complex protocols ... I’m beginning to believe that part of my purpose here is to walk through it all so I can show you it’s possible to heal. I’ve already done it with PCOS, prediabetes, insulin resistance and hypothyroidism. So now we’re onto something new. And let me be clear -- despite the new battle, I feel incredible. And I am so, so grateful for this level of health. This doesn’t undo any of the progress, the joy, the energy, or the strength. I still feel like the best version of me to date ... fully, vibrantly. This is just a new layer. Not a loss.
And you, future body? Here’s what I need from you: Be patient with me when I fumble. Respond with clarity-- through energy, sleep, mood, strength, and joy. Stay adaptable. Let us evolve. Keep reminding me that healing isn’t about doing more, it’s about doing what matters most.
We’re in this together. Let’s remain someone we’re proud to be ... not because we “achieved” anything, but because we cared enough to keep showing up.
Signed,
Me
(The version of you who’s always quietly wokring to rebuild something extraordinary)
If this letter stirred something in you, I want to invite you to write your own. It doesn’t have to be poetic or perfect ... just honest. A few sentences between you and the version of yourself you’re building. What do you want for her? What do you promise to give her? What do you hope she remembers? It’s not just reflective. It’s activating. Try it!
And if you want a space where this kind of honest, smart, no-shame work is the norm, The Metabolic Edge is that place. We focus on strength, metabolic health, energy, hormones, real science, strategy, and real life. The kind of health that holds up under stress and still makes room for joy. You can check it out here ... doors are open.