For years, I thought the thing standing between me and becoming one of those women who seemed calm, confident, and effortlessly put together was...more information.
Another certification would do it. Or maybe the perfect planner. Surely this book will be the thing. Another supplement. Another podcast. Another app that promised to organize my life while somehow becoming one more thing I had to keep up with.
I thought that if I just learned enough, eventually I'd wake up as this magical version of myself who always knew what to do.
(As you probably guessed, she never showed up. She's probably somewhere reorganizing her Notes app.)
For the longest time, I thought anxiety was my biggest problem. Then I decided it must be overthinking. What I've realized though is that underneath all of that was something much more insidious.
I didn't trust myself!
And let me tellllll youuuuuuuu -- once you see that, you can't unsee it.
We spend a lot of time talking about nervous system regulation these days. Breathwork. Cold plunges. Magnesium. Vagus nerve exercises and devices. Red light therapy. Humming. Grounding. Walking barefoot. Sitting on the floor in a pretzel shape.
You know I'm a physiology nerd. I will happily spend a bazillion hours talking about blood sugar, mitochondria, circadian rhythms, muscle protein synthesis, hormones, inflammation, and all the gloriously nerdy things that make the human body so fascinating.
Our biology really, REALLY matters.
But lately I've started wondering if the conversations around 'nervous system regulation' have been wildly incomplete and overlooking one of the biggest contributors to chronic stress.
Those tiny moments when we stop trusting ourselves!
You already know what you want to do, but somehow you end up asking six people what they think first.
Your gut says yes, your brain opens Microsoft PowerPoint and starts preparing a full presentation titled Forty-Seven Reasons This Will Probably Ruin Your Entire Life.
You shrink your opinion because it's easier than making someone uncomfortable that you don't agree.
You hold back on social media because you don't like posting without full context for fear that some stranger who got dropped off on your page by the algorithm might misunderstand you or your intentions (ahem, yup, that one was for me).
You hear yourself say yes when every cell in your body was screaming absolutely not.
Those moments don't usually seem like a big deal in the moment. But your nervous system begs to differ!
I've dabbled in the study of Human Design a little while ago, and whether you love it, hate it, or think it belongs somewhere between astrology and crystal collections, it gave me language for something I had been experiencing my entire life.
It gave me the epiphany moment to recognize that HOLY COW, there really isn't one universally "correct" way to move through the world! I mean, duh, right? But it felt like a light bulb moment to me. Just because we've always done it like that doesn't mean it's right or right for everyone.
We're constantly being told who we're supposed to become. Work harder. Slow down. Speak up. Be quieter. Rest more. Don't be lazy. Hustle. Protect your peace. Take risks. Play it safe.
I don't know about you, but by the time I listened to everyone else's advice, it was almost impossible to hear my own voice.
It's a little like spending your whole life wearing shoes that don't fit and eventually deciding your feet must be defective.
Eventually, you stop checking in with yourself altogether. And this is where it gets physical ...
Your nervous system is always collecting information. (Remember last week's newsletter??) It's paying attention to whether your environment feels predictable. Whether you're safe. If you follow through. Can you be counted on?
External events shape our sense of safety -- trauma, stress, loss, conflict. Those do play a role, for sure!
But your nervous system is also watching the relationship you have with yourself. And every time you override your intuition, it notices. When did you do that last? No shade, I'm just asking so you start to apply this to yourself.
Your nervous system is pretty much the boss, too. While it doesn't decide whether you lose weight or gain it, it does influence if you gain or lose more muscle or fat and how hard your body fights you along the way. It also changes cravings, hunger, satiety, hormone production, symptoms, how well you recover, adapt, build muscle, how restorative your sleep is, inflammation levels, mood, resilience, and how often you're stuck in hypervigilance, people-pleasing, perfectionism, or feeling like your brain never shuts off.
Every time you dismiss that quiet little whisper of wisdom because someone on Instagram sounded more convincing than you did, it notices.
Every time you promise yourself you'll start taking care of yourself on Monday...and then by Thursday you've thrown in the towel...it notices.
Truly NO shame. Your body isn't sitting there judging you. It's just learning.
Our brains are these prediction machines. They look for patterns so they can decide what to expect next. If you've repeatedly shown yourself that your own needs get pushed to the bottom of the list, your brain starts expecting exactly that. Neurobiology is wild, huh?
The beautiful part is that our brains are also incredibly adaptable. Yay for good news! They update the prediction every time we give them new evidence. We you start to become someone you can actually rely on, it updates. Maybe you take that walk you said you would, or did the workout even if you had to do 2 sets in the morning and the last set after dropping of your kiddo somewhere. Maybe you had a protein-packed meal after deciding muscle is a priority for you. Mayyyybe you set a boundary and stick with it. (Hard swallow). Or have a hard but necessary conversation. Whatever the details look like for you, when you make a decision that comes from your values instead of your comment section, that is self trust.
It's pretty boring, when you think of it! Kinda like growing tomatoes. You plant 'em. Water them. Wait. Nothing happens. You water them again. Wait some more. Still nothing.
Then one day you realize something has been growing the entire time because you stopped digging up the roots every three days to see if they were working!
When I work with women whose bodies are stuck in fight or flight, I usually see them looking for permission more often than they'd like to admit.
Permission to pivot.
Permission to charge more.
Permission to rest.
Permission to wear the thing.
Permission to change their mind.
Permission to stop doing something that's technically working but slowly draining the cr*p outta them.
What if your nervous system regulation was about you asking yourself what you think first and listening?
Would your shoulders drop? Breathing change? Whole body soften?
Here's something I'd love for us both to experiment with this week...
Pay attention to how many times you catch yourself asking, "What should I do?"
When you notice it, pause. Don't Google it yet. Don't throw it into ChatGPT or Claude. Don't ask a friend. Don't search Instagram hoping someone with beautiful lighting and slow-motion B-roll has already made your decision for you.
Just ask yourself one question: "What do I already know?"
You don't need absolute certainty. Just take one small action that lines up with what you already knew before fear started negotiating.
Maybe that's eating when you're hungry instead of waiting for the "perfect" time. Maybe it's adding another five pounds to the bar.
Maybe it's saying yes. Maybe it's finally saying no.
Maybe it's admitting you've outgrown a version of your life you've been trying really hard to squeeze yourself back into.
We spend so much time chasing confidence as if we'll get there when we have the perfect body, face, job, house, whatever ... but confidence is just evidence that you have your own back. It's not feeling flawless, it's knowing you have flaws and that's ok. It's not having answers, it's knowing you'll figure things out as you go.
It's your brain slowly realizing, "Okayyyyyyy...she actually has my back now."
Think about what that would change! I bet it would influence the way you eat, train, recover, work, age, parent, people, love. It would touch your metabolism, relationships, body, levity.
Imagine the glow up you'll have when you become someone your nervous system learns it can trust! That's a woman who's pretty hard to shake. I can't wait to meet that version of you!
This is exactly why The Metabolic Edge works so well. Women don't join because they need more information. They join because they're tired of collecting information and never quite knowing how to put it all together. They want a place where they can stop second-guessing themselves, stop hopping from influencer to influencer, stop wondering if they're doing enough (or the right things), and instead build confidence through consistency, action, and understanding what their body is actually trying to tell them.
That's exactly what we do inside.
Every month we strength train together. We talk through nutrition without food rules or perfectionism. I share meal ideas, recipes, grocery finds, and practical ways to make healthy eating fit into real life. We dive deep into women's physiology, metabolism, hormones, longevity, inflammation, muscle, gut health, lab work, aging, fat loss, and all the fascinating science that helps you finally understand why your body is responding the way it is.
And you don't have to figure it out alone. You have an entire community of women who are asking the same questions, celebrating the wins, navigating the same season of life, and cheering each other on instead of competing with each other. Plus, we meet for live group coaching so you can get your questions answered and actually apply what you're learning.
There isn't another membership out there that combines workouts, nutrition guidance, meal inspiration, community, deep women's health education, physiology, longevity, fat loss, and group coaching all in one place.
And it's just $59 a month. No contract. Cancel yourself anytime right from your dashboard if it ever stops serving you. (Although I have a feeling you're going to want to stick around.)
Heads up... the doors are only opening for 36 hours, and this is your only opportunity to join before August. Once they close, they won't reopen until the September round. So if you've been sitting on the sidelines thinking, "Maybe next time..." here we are. This is your next time.
I probably share 5% of what I teach publicly. The rest is the framework we use inside The Metabolic Edge — a step-by-step approach that helps women finally connect the dots and build momentum. Below are a few results from members who've been following it...
Come join us. You're going to love it inside. Learn more and join here.
Stay wild + well,
Tara
Look at these member wins!
